


Scars

by g101



Series: Sapnap Short Stories [5]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Past Abuse, Physical Abuse, Protective Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Sapnap-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Suicidal Thoughts, Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:41:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28073385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/g101/pseuds/g101
Summary: The Dream Team is hosting a meetup event. Sapnap's abusive past is catching up to him as the time for the event arises.aka: Sapnap is touch starved and afraid of being alone, because of his abusive parentsDream Team FRIENDSHIP (no shipping)
Relationships: Clay | Dream & GeorgeNotFound & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), GeorgeNotFound & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF)
Series: Sapnap Short Stories [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1885564
Comments: 49
Kudos: 387





	1. Chapter 1

**Request from one of my Wattpad Readers :)**

**Tw: Abuse, cursing, will add more as story continues**

**Disclaimer: mentions of Sapnap's parents (this is fiction!)**

***please just remember everything that is written is fiction!***

*******

_Sapnap: Plane just landed @ baggage claim rn_

_George: My plane just landed as well I'll b right there_

_Dream: Alright I'm coming_

_Sapnap: Dream's coming?! D:_

_Dream: Sapnap stop lol_

_Sapnap: see y'all soon ;)_

The pandemic was finally under control, meaning the travel bans were lifted, so the three immediately started planning a meetup in Florida for their fans. The trio was so focused on planning and organizing the event that they almost forgot they would be meeting each other for the first time. The meet up event was in a week, so they had a lot of time to hang out together just the three of them with no pressure or stress just yet. 

Sapnap was awkwardly standing at baggage claim to get his luggage. He watched the bags on the conveyor belt move as he gripped his backpack straps.

He looked down at his phone and typed out a message to his parents.

_Sapnap: Just landed in Orlando_

Sapnap sighed as he sent the text message. He never had a good relationship with his parents, especially after they divorced when he was younger. Recently they have been really strict about what he should do with his life. They never really supported Sapnap and his gaming career, even though he earned a decent amount of money for it. So him going to Orlando for this meetup caused a few issues with them. 

Sometimes it got so heated that his dad would hit Sapnap and throw things at him whenever they argued. Sapnap was used to it by now, all the black eyes he would hide, all the long sleeves he would wear to cover up the bruises, and all the scars he would conceal. 

His mom never hit him or hurt him physically, instead she hurt him with words.

_"You'll never be good enough, Nick"_

_"You're the reason we divorced. You did this. You ruined everything."_

_"You think those online friends of yours actually care for you?! They probably hate you like everyone else"_

The messed up part about this was that Sapnap could have moved out a long time ago, with all the money he has earned with uploading videos and streaming. However he's always been afraid of being alone and he truly believed he deserved the abuse. And from what Sapnap knew neither Dream nor George knew about his family life and he was determined to keep it that way. 

Sapnap snapped out of it when he saw his luggage on the conveyor belt, he reached down to get it when-

"Oh Sapnap~" Dream chuckled behind him.

Sapnap smirked, picked up his luggage and turned around.

"Oh Dreeeaaammm!" Sapnap exclaims with a big smile.

Dream quickly extends his arms to Sapnap for a hug. Sapnap immediately drops his luggage and backpack on the floor and accepts Dream's offer to hug.

As they hugged Sapnap seemed to shake a little bit and squeezed Dream closer to him. Dream smiled at this and because he is taller than Sapnap, he rested his chin on Sapnap's head as Sapnap dug his face into Dream's chest. The two of them tightly hugged each other as if they were stuck together like glue.

Suddenly a pair of arms wrapped around the two of them. Both Dream and Sapnap quickly looked to see who it was only to see a familiar brunette smiling at the two of them. 

"George!" Dream excitedly exclaims, extending an arm out.

"Dream!" George responded, joining in on the hug.

"Sapnap!" Sapnap yelled out, hugging Dream and George as tight as he could.

Dream and George laughed at Sapnap's addition as the three of them held each other close.

The trio stood there in the group hug for a while. Although it must've just been a few seconds, it felt like an eternity to Sapnap.

He couldn't believe it he was actually there, hugging his two best friends.

The comfort he got just from hugging George and Dream was the most safe and loved Sapnap has ever felt. It was very overwhelming for Sapnap, almost too overwhelming. 

He was the first one who broke from the hug, after he did so Dream and George broke the hug as well. 

Sapnap's heart seemed to be beating at supersonic speed from all of these emotions he was feeling. He tried to avoid getting emotional by focusing... focusing on George and how short he was-

"I TOLD YOU I'M TALLER THAN YOU GOGY HAHAHA!!!!" Sapnap exclaimed with a wide smirk on his face.

"Wow that's how you greet me, Sapnap?" George chuckles, playfully pushing Sapnap a bit.

While George and Sapnap were debating and comparing their heights (when it was obvious Sapnap was at least an inch taller than George), Dream was looking up at the signs to see where to claim George's luggage.

"Sap, come on get your stuff! We have to get George's luggage over there." Dream said to Sapnap, pointing at another conveyor belt that was further away.

Sapnap nodded and walked back to where he dropped his things, while he was turned away from Dream and George he tried to compose himself. 

_"Come on. Calm yourself, Sap."_ Sapnap thought to himself. He wiped away the tears forming in his eyes, still trying to keep his cool. 

He grabbed his backpack and luggage on the floor, then he met back up with George and Dream at another conveyor belt. 

"I'll know it when I see it, Dream." George says, defensively.

"No I get it, you're colorblind so you don't know the color of your luggage but you're not blind, George. You can at least tell me what it looks like." Dream rambled on. 

"What's going on?" Sapnap asked, resting his arm on George's shoulder.

"George doesn't know what his luggage looks like." Dream smirks.

"Yes I do! It's a four wheeled luggage with a little blue string on the handle." George explained confidently.

"George, you just described the majority of the luggages that we've seen pass by us." Dream nags.

"Shut up. I'll know it when I see it." George repeated, crossing his arms.

Dream and Sapnap giggled at George's response as they continued to keep an eye out for George's luggage.

Finally George walks over to his luggage and picks it up from the conveyor belt. 

After a few more jokes about George's color blindness, they all decided it was time to leave the airport so they can rest at Dream's house.

*******

George and Sapnap followed behind Dream in the parking garage. 

"What?!" Dream exclaimed.

"What? What's wrong?" George asks.

"I swear I parked on this floor. What- I don't understand." Dream rambled out.

"Awww Dream's nervous that we're here that he forgot where he parked! That's so cute Dream." Sapnap jokes.

"Ha ha. No seriously I swear I parked on this floor." Dream said, repeatedly clicking the lock button on his car keys to try and locate where his car is. 

Finally they hear a car horn from across the garage. 

They all stood still for a good second.

"LAST ONE THERE IS A ROTTEN EGG!" Sapnap yelled as he started running toward the sound of the car.

George and Dream quickly run behind Sapnap.

"Sapnap what the hell?! You don't even know what my car looks like!" Dream called out.

"Ah! MY SHOE!!! My shoe fell off!!!" George yelled.

Dream and Sapnap laughed looking back at George picking up his shoe off the ground and continuing to run towards them. 

Sapnap was still in the lead to Dream's car, even though he had no idea which one was Dream's. Dream suddenly ran ahead of Sapnap to a-

"TESLA?!" Sapnap exclaimed, "Dream you got a Tesla?! How come you never told us?"

"I rented it because you guys are visiting." Dream says proudly.

"I don't know why you don't just buy one. It's not like you can't afford it." George comments, walking up to the two of them, slipping his shoe back on his foot.

"I don't like to spend my money like that." Dream mumbles, opening the trunk. 

"Just so we're clear, George is the rotten egg." Sapnap says as he lifts his luggage into the trunk.

"Whatever you say, Sap." George shakes his head, grinning at Sapnap.

As George was loading his stuff into the trunk, a car pulled up behind them. The people in the car were asking for directions. Dream immediately answered their questions, explaining the directions to them and pointing out where to go.

Sapnap glanced over at George, when an idea sprouted in his mind. 

"I CALL SHOTGUN!!" He yelled running over to the front seat.

After hearing this, George perked up and immediately left what he was doing and raced for the front seat. Because George was already closer to the front seat, he got there first and quickly locked the door behind him. 

The people who needed help drove off, getting all the info they needed from Dream. Dream turned around, confused about what was happening. 

"GEORGE!!!! I called shotgun first!!! This is not fair!!! DREAAAAMM!!!" Sapnap yelled, knocking on the car window.

Dream slammed the trunk close and walked over to Sapnap.

"You idiots!! I can't leave you alone for a minute, I swear!" He exclaims.

"George he called shot gun first it's only fair." Dream says rubbing his forehead, looking at George through the window.

"I can't open the door. Sorry." George shrugs his shoulders, grinning mischievously.

"Sap, can you just sit in the back for right now? Next time we have to drive somewhere you can sit up front with me, okay?" Dream asks, now turning to look at Sapnap.

"Pinky promise?" Sapnap jokingly pouted and raised his pinky up.

"Pinky promise." Dream chuckles, wrapping his pinky around Sapnap's.

*******

After everyone was settled in the car, the trio was off, finally driving to Dream's house. 

Dream's hands carefully gripped the steering wheel, his eyes watched the road while also checking in on George and Sapnap from time to time.

George was scrolling on his phone looking through Twitter, he just tweeted out a blurry picture of the three of them together to get the fans excited for the event. The picture, of course, had an emoji over Dream's blurred face since he was saving his face reveal for the event. 

Dream glanced in the rear view mirror to see Sapnap's head resting against the car window, his hood was up and his eyes were fighting sleep. Each time he would blink, his eyes would widen so he wouldn't fall asleep. 

Sapnap didn't want to miss a single moment with his best friends now that he was there with them. 

"Go to sleep, Sap. We got a long way to go." Dream smiled gently at Sapnap in the mirror.

With that Sapnap let his heavy eyelids shut. 

**_To Be Continued..._ **

*******

**A/N:**

**I'm on winter break from school now so I can focus more on writing so expect more updates soon! Also thank you for all the kudos and all you guys' comments on my previous stories! I really appreciate all the support <3**

**-G**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Cursing, abuse, violence, mentioned alcohol abuse and panic attacks.**

_"Uh Dream, George I gotta go okay?" Sapnap hurriedly said, looking at the time._

_Before Dream or George could respond, Sapnap hung up the Discord call as he heard footsteps out of his bedroom door._

_"NICK! What did I tell you about playing those computer games all day?!" His dad busted the door open._

_"I'm sorry I was just logging off and-" Sapnap's voice quivered as he talked._

_"Quit giving me excuses. I'm sick and tired of your bullshit." The grown man hissed._

_Sapnap stayed quiet looking down at his hands._

_"Look at me when I'm talking to you, son."_

_Sapnap slowly looked up at his dad in his bloodshot eyes. His dad was drunk as usual, Sapnap wasn't surprised._

_"Don't look at me like that!" His dad advanced over to Sapnap._

_"Look at you like what?! You told me to look at you!!" Sapnap exclaimed getting up from his chair._

_"Now you wanna talk back huh?!" His dad grabbed him and pushed him against the wall._

_All Sapnap could do was look at his dad straight in the eyes, waiting for whatever came next. That's all he could ever do._

_But instead of his dad punching him or slapping him, like he would usually do, he pulled him out of his room._

_"What the fuck are you doing?!" Sapnap yelled, trying to escape his dad's grasp._

_"You think you're real funny huh? Looking at me like your mother? You must have a death wish, boy." His dad said in a grave tone._

_Finally after dragging Sapnap down the hallway they were standing at the top of the stairs._

_Before Sapnap could even respond or try to run away, his dad shoved him down the flight of stairs._

_Sapnap tumbled down the stairs, hard. He heard an ugly pop sound come from his left shoulder as he fell. Sapnap laid at the bottom at the stairs, grabbing his shoulder because of how much pain it was in. The worst part was yet to come as his dad appeared at the top of the stairs, this time he held one of Sapnap's computer monitors in his hand._

_"Please, no!" Sapnap begged, trying to stand up to stop his dad, but he was still too weak to even move._

_It was too late, his dad threw the monitor down the stairs causing it to crack and barely miss Sapnap's head at the bottom._

_"That's what you get for being a little bitch boy." His dad spat walking away from the stairs._

_Tears silently streamed down Sapnap's face as he looked at his reflection in his cracked computer monitor._

"Sapnap!?"

"Sap wake up."

Sapnap woke up with a start, he quickly sat up only to be pulled back by his seatbelt.

"We're here!" Dream said while turning to look at Sapnap.

"Are you okay?! You're-" George was already turned around facing Sapnap.

Sapnap was confused why George and Dream were both looking back at him with so much concern but then he felt it.

He was crying, he was actually crying.

"I- I'm just glad we're all here... together." He sniffled as tears continued to flow out of his eyes. He hid the pain he felt with a smile.

"Aw... Sap there's no reason to cry about it. We're all here now, let's enjoy it!" Dream said excitedly, as he quickly climbed into the back seat with Sapnap. He wiped the tears from Sapnap's face which made Sapnap flinch a little at the sudden touch. It was crazy how Dream always knew what Sapnap needed, even when they were there in person.

"Yeah you big piss baby, don't make us cry now." George said, pretending to wipe tears from his eyes while handing Dream some tissues from the front. George never failed to cheer Sapnap with his jokes.

"Woooow Gogy. Way to ruin the moment." Sapnap smirked, already collecting himself.

"Yeah George, we were trying to have a serious moment here and you just... ruin it. But you're alright now, right Sapnap?" Dream said jokingly as he squished Sapnap's face a bit before letting go.

"Yeah as long as you guys are with me, I'll be A-Okay." Sapnap responded with a grin.

*******

George watched as Sapnap closed the trunk door and the both of them made their way to Dream's front door with their stuff in tow. He could feel something was off with Sapnap, but George just concluded it must be from nerves for the event coming up because he was nervous for it himself.

Dream had already unlocked the door to his house and was waiting for the both of them through the door.

"Wow I can't believe it! We're actually here, in Dream's house!" Sapnap exclaims walking past Dream, looking around the house.

"Yeah it's really nice, Dream." George complimented, turning towards Dream, who was closing the door.

"Just nice?! This is CRAZY. It's like a- a mansion!" Sapnap's voice was echoing through the house.

"Well, I wouldn't say mansion." Dream finally adds.

"Dude... You literally have a hot tub and pool." Sapnap said pointing at Dream's backyard.

"I mean that's not rare in Florida, Sap." Dream says placing the Tesla keys on a key rack.

"It's rare where I'm from." Sapnap claims still in awe of how grand Dream's house was.

"That just shows that Florida is better than Texas." Dream said with a smile.

"No no no I wouldn't go that far. Texas is by far the best state Dream, we've discussed this before." Sapnap argued, facing Dream now.

George chuckled at Sapnap and Dream bickering. Sapnap seems fine perhaps it was just all in George's head.

After the huge debate of which state was better (concluding that Texas and Florida are both, equally top tier states, which it always resulted in) Dream led George and Sapnap upstairs to the guest room he had set up for them.

The room had two twin beds and was connected to Dream's room with a Jack and Jill bathroom.

"What the hell man? I thought we'll all be in the same room?!" Sapnap whined.

"I mean the rooms are connected and you guys can go in my room whenever." Dream says, leaning on the door frame.

"Okay fine." Sapnap flops onto the bed closest to the window and George settles on the bed near the bathroom.

"Alright well I'm going to UberEats some food. What do you guys want?" Dream asks.

"Subway. I've been craving some Subway, man." Sapnap quickly responds, sitting up against the bed's headboard.

"Yeah, Subway sounds good." George answers.

"Okay cool just put in your orders, I'll be right back." Dream said, handing the phone to George and leaving the room.

As George taps on the phone screen, Sapnap migrates next to George and rambles on about how pepper-jack cheese is the best. They then hear the bedroom door open and see Dream with his cat in his arms.

"PATCHES!" Sapnap and George exclaim in unison.

Dream laughs as he lets Patches down on George's bed.

George and Sapnap stop what they were doing and immediately play with Patches.

Dream smiled as he picked up his phone and ordered the food for the three of them. When he was done ordering, Dream put his phone down and just watched as Sapnap and George played with Patches. They were fighting for Patches attention, repeatedly calling her name seeing who she would go to first. After a while Patches seemed a bit tired of the two of them and jumped off the bed to leave the room.

"Well Patches has spoken, she's done with the both of you." Dream said walking over to the bed to be with them.

"Yup looks like it." George added leaning back a bit.

_Ding Dong_

"That must be the food. I'll go get it." Dream mumbled as he walked out the room.

Sapnap sighed as he laid all the way back on the bed.

"You good, Sap?" George asked, looking over at Sapnap.

"Yeah, just tired I guess." Sapnap responded, resting his arms behind his head.

*******

After they all ate, George and Sapnap began to unpack their clothes into the closet and began to fully settle in the room. Dream helped out as much as he could but ultimately just stayed on the bed scrolling through Twitter.

_Riiiiiing_

_Riiiiiing_

"Oh I gotta take this, I'll just go outside." Sapnap said, looking down at his phone and already out the door.

Dream didn't question it much and continued to peruse his social medias.

After George finally finished unpacking his stuff, they decided to go to Dream's room to play Mario Kart since the guest room didn't have a TV. They basically finished a whole championship of races and Sapnap still didn't show up in Dream's room.

"I'll check in the guest room, maybe he went back and fell asleep or something." Dream said, getting up and walking to the bathroom door to enter the guest room through there.

*******

Dream slowly walked in the room, the lights were off so the only light in the room was coming from the moonlight through the window. Sapnap's silhouette stood in front of the window, he seemed to be looking outside.

"Sap?"

Sapnap didn't answer. He must be deep in thought about something, but either way Dream was certain something had to be going on.

Dream steadily made his way towards Sapnap and when he was close enough he put his hand on Sapnap's shoulder to get his attention.

Sapnap immediately winced, turned around, and swiftly backed away from Dream.

"NO! I'm sorry I won't do it again! Please, please don't I-" Sapnap trembled, his back was totally against the wall now and his hand gripped his shoulder like it was in pain.

Dream stood in shock, he was not expecting Sapnap to react this way at all. He was speechless to say the least.

"Don't hurt me please, I just wanted to- I just I-" Sapnap was hyperventilating at this point as he sunk down to the floor.

"Sap? Wh- what's going on?" Dream stuttered finally finding the ability to talk. Panic filled his body as he quickly kneeled down to be on the same level Sapnap was at.

Suddenly, the light turned on which made Dream look back to be met with George standing right behind him. George looked at Dream with confusion but Dream didn't know what to say, he was just as confused and worried. He turned to look back at Sapnap, who had his knees against his chest and his hands covering his face.

"Sapnap... We would never ever hurt you." Dream said gently.

Sapnap's whole body quivered with every breath he struggled to take.

"We're here for you, we're your best friends." George adds, kneeling down next to Dream.

Sapnap's hands shook as he lowered them down from his face.

"We care about you, hell, we love you... Just talk to us." Dream said in a soft tone, his green eyes met with Sapnap's brown eyes.

"D- Dream? George?" Sapnap's voice was barely audible.

His eyes were all red and swollen up and his nose was tinted pink from crying.

"Yeah, it's us. You're safe with us." Dream spoke slowly.

Sapnap still had trouble breathing and his eyes weren't focused on anything, they just seemed dazed.

"Just breathe with me okay? Breathe in... Breathe out..." George says, while inhaling and exhaling so Sapnap can follow suit.

After Sapnap calmed down and his breathing was back to normal, Dream and George carefully sat next to him.

There was a moment of stillness and silence. Dream and George's minds were filled with questions.

_What should they do now?_

_What caused Sapnap to have a panic attack?_

_Who hurt their best friend?_

Dream finally gathered the words to speak, "Do you wanna talk about it, if not, it's fine we can talk about it tomorrow but-" he looked over at Sapnap and sighed.

Sapnap's head rested on George's shoulder and his light brown hair covered his eyes, he was asleep.

Dream and George locked eyes having the same concerned and disoriented look on them.

"We should get him to the bed." George whispered.

Dream nodded, already getting up and faced his two best friends on the floor. George sat still, careful not to wake Sapnap with any movement. Dream gently picked up Sapnap bridal style and paused for a second as George stood up beside him. Dream thought to himself that his bed was a lot comfier than either of the ones in the guest room and walked slowly towards his room.

George quietly followed behind Dream, his eyes focused on Sapnap the whole time, as if he could wake up at any second. Sapnap's head leaned on Dream's collarbone and his arms rested on his stomach. George frowned, the youngest looked so small and fragile. It was upsetting seeing him like this, when he knew Sapnap was the most boisterous, humorous and competitive one of the trio.

Once Dream laid Sapnap down and placed the covers over him, George and Dream stood next to each other at the side of the bed. Both of them watched the 19 year old sleep, still taken aback with what just occurred.

"Should we go back to the room or stay here?" George quietly asked Dream.

"Let's go back to the other room." Dream hesitantly said, not sure which option was the right choice. He thought maybe Sapnap would want some space but at the same time Dream wanted to be there for him.

Dream started to walk away towards the door, still contemplating if they should leave Sapnap alone or not. As George turned to follow Dream, he stopped because he felt a slight tug on his hoodie sleeve. Dream noticed George wasn't behind him and paused to see why.

They both looked down to see Sapnap's hand barely gripping George's sleeve.

"stay." Sapnap's muffled voice answered. 

**_To Be Continued..._ **

*******

**A/N:**

**WOOOO Update!! Hope you guys enjoyed this part and are excited for more! I think this story will have one or two more parts to it but still not sure lol. :)**

**On a serious note if you can relate to Sapnap's abuse in the story please reach out for help from** **people you trust / feel comfortable with.** **I'm also leaving some organizations that can offer help as well.**

**https://www.thehotline.org/**

**https://www.stopitnow.org/ohc-content/crisis-hotlines**

**https://victimconnect.org/resources/national-hotlines/**

**ILY ALL , even though I just write these angsty fanfics, just know I love you, care about you and appreciate you. Everyone deserves to be loved and cared for ** ** in the right way ** **!!!! Please just stay safe and I hope this helps.**

**I'm sorry if I'm being too overly dramatic or whatever I just really wanna help whoever needs it. <3**

**-G**


	3. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER: suicidal thoughts, angst, flashbacks, cussing** ****

Sapnap woke up to Dream's soft snores and George's mumbling in his sleep.

He was in between Dream and George on the bed, his arm was tightly wrapped around George. Sapnap quickly pulled his arm away from George only to realize Dream's arm was around him. His face started feeling hot from all the physical contact and carefully moved Dream's arm off him.

Sapnap couldn't lay there much longer because at this point he was wide awake so he slowly sat up and stumbled off the bed. He looked back and made sure he didn't wake either of them, thankfully they were both fast asleep.

Sapnap quietly made his way to the guest room, still disoriented about what happened. He glanced at the window, sunlight was lighting up the room.

What happened last night?

_Tears streamed down his face as he_ _stared out the bedroom window, trying to focus on the moon, on the stars, just anything to keep his mind off of what just happened._

_He couldn't move, he couldn't breathe, he needed to keep it together, he had to be okay._

_But h_ _is mom's words from their phone call echoed in his head._

_"Try not to fuck up this like you always do."_

_Dream and George's yells of competitiveness could be heard in the room._

_"You've never done anything for this family."_

_Sapnap sadly smiled, listening to the two fighting over which map to race on next._

_"You're just like you're father."_

_But he focused his eyes outside._

_"A freeloading, selfish asshole"_

_Just thinking._

_"You should just kill yourself."_

_What would it be like to jump out?_

_"Everyone would be better off."_

_Would his life flash before his eyes as he fell?_

_"No one would miss you."_

_What would he even look back on?_

_"But you're a coward so you're stuck with being a burden on everyone."_

_Would he die?_

Sapnap shook his head and turned away from the window. 

He should get changed.

***

George woke up and immediately sat up, realizing Sapnap was missing.

_Where'd he go?_

_Was he okay?_

George heard shuffling coming from the other room and walked in the connecting bathroom. The door to the other bedroom was locked which made George worried, especially after what happened that night.

"Sap? You in there?" George knocked on the door.

No answer.

"Sapnap, come on, open the door." George jiggled the door knob.

"Wh- what's going on?" Dream peered behind George, rubbing the grogginess out of his eyes.

"Sapnap's in there and what if-" George shakily answered still trying to open the door.

"There's a key on the top of the door frame, hold on." Dream grabbed the key and unlocked the door.

"We're coming in." Dream called out before turning the door handle.

The two entered the room to see Sapnap in front of the closet, he seemed to have just slipped his hoodie on in a hurry and turned quickly to the two of them.

"Geez privacy much. Oh! Look George I'm wearing your merch!" Sapnap excitedly exclaimed pointing at his grey GeorgeNotFound hoodie.

"Dude we knocked and said we were coming in. Did you not hear us?" Dream asked, crossing his arms, obviously frustrated.

"No I didn't sorry, I guess I was thinking about something." Sapnap said, rubbing the back of his neck, looking back at the window.

"Do you remember what happened last night?" George questioned Sapnap, walking over to sit on his bed.

"Uh not really, oh yeah, Dream I thought you said we were gonna sleep in here. What happened?" Sapnap answered, turning back towards them.

"Well we all ended up sleeping in Dream's room after you- well you seemed stressed out about something." George minded his words, careful not to trigger Sapnap in any way. 

Sapnap tilted his head at George, still not understanding what he was trying to say.

"Sap, you had a panic attack." Dream said straightforwardly.

"Wh- what? No... are you sure? I- I don't remember." Sapnap stuttered, he genuinely couldn't remember. 

"What's the last thing you remember? Maybe we can at least figure out what caused it." George asked.

Sapnap thought about his phone call with his mom and the bedroom window- _don't tell them, don't tell them._

"No I don't remember anything, just woke up this morning with you guys beside me" Sapnap's eyes shifted away from them, suddenly interested in the material of the carpet in the room.

"Look at me, Sapnap." Dream uncrossed his arms and walked closer to Sapnap.

Sapnap slowly looked up at Dream. 

"Does anyone hurt you at home or at school?" Dream watched Sapnap carefully for any kind of reaction.

Sapnap was surprised at the question. 

_Did he really have that bad of a panic attack? Why was he such an idiot?!_

"What?! No." Sapnap responded quickly, his eyes met with Dream's.

"You know if anything like that happens you can tell us right?" George asked, looking at Sapnap worriedly.

Sapnap felt a lump in his throat, it was getting difficult to keep lying, but he had to. It's better this way.

"Of course, why are you guys being so weird?" Sapnap chuckled nervously.

"I don't know, you just seemed really out of it yesterday." George frowned, thinking about how distressed Sapnap was.

"Yeah I guess I was just tired, no need to worry guys!" Sapnap lied with a fake smile.

***

The three got ready to go out to look at the venue they reserved for the meet up, they had make sure it met their expectations and finish up last minute details.

Sapnap happily sat in the front seat knowing that Dream promised him he could ride shotgun next time they drove anywhere. Dream smirked at this and hopped in the driver's seat, starting up the car.

"Man what is taking George forever?" Dream mumbled.

"Probably taking a ginormous dump." Sapnap chuckled.

Dream laughed at Sapnap's comment and stared at the front door waiting for George to appear. 

The smile faded from his face when he thought about their conversation from earlier. He knew Sapnap was lying and it frustrated the hell out of him. Dream knew Sapnap for 10 years now and Sapnap couldn't even tell him what was actually wrong. What bothered Dream the most is that he couldn't help his best friend, because he didn't know how to or what was really going on with him. And it's not like he could force Sapnap to tell the truth, that would just drive him away even more. 

He just had to trust that Sapnap would eventually tell them the truth when he was ready, but for now all he could do is be there for him. 

"Sorry I couldn't find my trousers." George said quickly, opening the car door and sitting down in the back seat.

"Aw, Grog couldn't find his trousers?" Sapnap mocks in a British accent, turning around to look at George.

"What do you want me to say? That I couldn't find my 'pants'?" George joked, exaggerating the word pants in his dumb sounding American accent.

"Guys chill out. Sapnap turn back around, George buckle up, we're already late." Dream impatiently ordered, looking at the time.

"Yessir." Sapnap mumbled, turning back around while George quietly buckled his seat belt.

Dream put the car in reverse and pulled out of the driveway.

The trio sat in the car quietly, the only thing that was playing was a radio station full of advertisements and it started to irritate Sapnap. So he messed with the Tesla settings to connect his phone so he could play music. He finally got his phone connected and played his Quadeca playlist. 

BEAMIN' started playing when he exclaimed "Come on guys we gotta get hype, we're gonna have a meet up! Can y'all believe it?!" 

The three started singing along with the song and were feeling good about seeing the venue.

Sapnap felt a weight lifted from his shoulders as he looked at Dream and George singing. Everything will be fine as long as he's with them.

***

"Over here is the stage where you guys will be introduced to your fans and of course we'll practice all that before the event." The organizer led them to an open room with a stage against the back wall. 

"Yeah it looks good! Did the decorations we ordered come in yet?" Dream asked.

"No, not yet but they should come in on time." The organizer fiddled with her tablet.

As Dream continued to talk with the organizer, George and Sapnap made their way to the stage.

"Introducing the Dream Team, first we have... your favorite white boy... GEORGENOTFOUND!!" Sapnap giggled as he gestured his arms towards George.

George jokingly bowed to the empty ballroom and said "Thank you, thank you, good to be here."

"Okay now George, you have to introduce me." Sapnap said excitedly.

"Next we have the biggest nimrod of all the land... Sappitus Napitus!!!" George announces.

Sapnap walked up and waved to the non existent audience.

Dream chuckled at the two of them while he continued discussing some things with the event organizer. When they were done talking, he made his way over to the stage.

"What do you guys think? You guys like it?" Dream asked as he walked over.

"Yeah man it's really cool! I can't wait." Sapnap said looking around the big room.

"We were thinking we'll be introduced here and then do a kind of Q & A session. After that, there will be the meet and greet, so we'll set up a station for that towards the back over there." Dream gestured with his hand towards the back of the room.

"She was asking if we wanted individual stations for each of us or if we should just have one station for all three of us. What do you guys think?" Dream asked the both of them.

"I think a station for each of us might be better, they can choose who they want to meet and it will be more personal. Plus with three separate stations there will be three lines so they won't have to wait as long." George thought out loud.

Sapnap shuddered at the thought of not having his friends beside him while meeting all of the fans. Even though he genuinely loves the fans he has, the sad truth is that he doesn't know any of them. And he always became shy with new people especially when his friends that he knew and trusted weren't around. That's why he needs Dream and George there with him. 

"No! I mean they probably want to meet all of us you know? And we don't want them to be waiting three times for each of us. Just make them wait one time for all three of us and that'll be that." Sapnap quickly explained.

"You have a good point Sapnap, okay we'll just have one station." Dream said after thinking to himself for a while.

"Alright but if they get impatient in the one huge line, don't come crying to me." George said salty.

"Oh come on George, they've been waiting all this time for a meet up with us, I'm sure they can wait in a little line." Dream remarked.

"Whatever you say." George shrugged his shoulders.

Dream smirked at George and looked at Sapnap who was still staring at the spot Dream showed them earlier.

"Sap? You okay?" Dream asked gently.

"Yeah, the nerves are starting to hit me I guess." Sapnap nervously laughed.

"It's okay we're all nervous, hell, this is gonna be Dream's face reveal." George said.

"Oh man you're right. Are you ready for that Dream?" Sapnap asked, turning to look at Dream.

"I mean to be fair it's been a long time coming and this is the way I wanted it to happen, at a meetup event with you guys." Dream smiled looking at George and Sapnap.

***

Sapnap looked out the window of the car. They finished up the minor details for the event and were on their way back to Dream's house. Sapnap was now in the back seat because George called shotgun before he could even think of it. 

George and Dream were discussing more about the event and how they think it will go. Sapnap felt bad for not tuning in to their conversation but he didn't really want to think about the event. It was coming up so quickly and he wasn't prepared for it, he was excited for it but after seeing how big the venue was made him realize how many people are actually going to show up.

Dream turned his head slightly towards Sapnap and said,

_"Try not to fuck up this like you always do."_

"Wh- what'd you say?" Sapnap flinched at the words he heard.

"I said did you wanna play some music? I would ask George but his music taste is eh." Dream smiled looking at George for a reaction.

"What do you mean?! We all listen to the same music!" George exclaimed.

"Well..." Dream said in his usual "well" voice.

"Fine, Sapnap play some music." George sighed.

"No, it's fine. Play your music." Sapnap's eyes shifted back outside the window.

"You heard him, my music it is." George grins, connecting his phone to the car.

***

The three walk into Dream's house, feeling tired from their outing.

"What do you guys wanna do now?" Dream asked, hanging the car keys on the key hook.

"Mmm I'm not sure." Sapnap said sitting on the couch.

"Well on the way here I saw a lot of people on Twitter wanting a stream... So maybe I can stream?" George says, still standing.

"That's a good idea here let me show you where my set up is. You coming Sapnap?" Dream stood beside George near the stairs.

"There's actually a Rockets game about to come on but uh let me know when you start. I'll come join once you guys get it set up." Sapnap said, already turning on the TV and switching it to the game.

"Alright let's go, George." Dream said leading George up the stairs.

Sapnap sighed as he laid his head back on the couch and continued to watch the game. Everything felt so overwhelming to him, he still hasn't even processed last night. He couldn't even remember this panic attack Dream and George were claiming he had. 

How could he not remember any of it?

Sapnap closed his eyes, _try to remember._

***

"He seems fine right?" George mumbled as Dream sat at his chair in front of his computer.

"To be honest, no not really. But I don't know what we can do... I mean he won't talk to us." Dream sighed, opening Twitch and Minecraft for George.

"He'll talk when he's ready but for now-"

"We just have to be there for him, I know." Dream interrupted George.

"I'm just worried about him. He doesn't seem like himself." Dream quietly said, standing up from the chair so George could sign in and set up his stream.

"Yeah well you know how stubborn Sapnap can be, he won't let us in if we keep harping over it. We just have to trust him on this one but if anything else happens then we'll deal with it then. And hopefully this stream will cheer him up a bit." George rambled as he focused on the computer screen.

George continued preparing for his stream while Dream stood beside him quietly watching. The both of them were lost in their own thoughts until George was done.

"You all set?" Dream asked George.

"Yeah it looks good, I think I'm gonna start now." George adjusted his camera but then looked over at Dream.

"Alright go ahead and start I'll go get Sapnap." Dream said already turning to leave.

As Dream walked down the stairs he heard the TV still on and the voices of the commentators talking about the game. When he made it down the stairs he noticed Sapnap on the couch, his eyes were closed and his head rested on the back of the couch. 

Dream smirked, grabbing a blanket as he walked over to Sapnap then covering him with it.

Sapnap flinched and his eyes shot open then relaxed when he saw Dream, "I'm not asleep, idiot." he shifted under the blanket.

"Oh you looked like you were asleep." Dream laughed, walking over to sit with him.

"Nah I'm just resting my eyes." Sapnap smiled, lifting the blanket so Dream had some too.

"You sound like an old man."

"Yeah yeah." 

Dream and Sapnap sat, watching the game in silence for a moment. Once there was a commercial break Sapnap turned towards Dream. 

"Did George start his stream?" 

"Yeah, he must be wondering where we are." Dream responded, still watching the game.

"Alright we better get up there." Sapnap got up and stood waiting for Dream.

Dream stayed seated and looked up at Sapnap, "Hey Pandas..." 

Sapnap was taken aback by his old nickname.

"Y- yeah Dream?" 

"I know there's something going on and I- just know whatever it is I can help you. I'll always be here for you no matter what, you know that right?" 

Sapnap stood for a second, he couldn't bring himself to talk so he just nodded his head.

"Good, okay... Let's go." Dream said, standing up and leading the way up the stairs. He gripped the railing tightly, he was still getting nothing from him.

***

"Alright let's beat the game shall we?" George said to his chat then looked up to be met with Sapnap and Dream. 

"Gogy's gonna beat the game you say?" Sapnap said loud enough so the viewers could hear.

"Sapnap come over here. They've all been asking for you and Dream." George gestured to him to come into the camera's view.

"No, I'm fine right here." He said plopping down onto the couch, as Dream follows suit.

"Just come over here they still don't believe we're all here together, I think we traumatized them with that stupid vlog idea." George mumbled.

"Oh come on that was ages ago, get over it." Dream chimed in.

"Okay but how are they supposed to know for sure if we don't give them proof." George pouted jokingly.

"Fine, fine." Sapnap got up and joined George in front of the camera.

"Are y'all happy now? It's not a prank this is real!" Sapnap exclaimed.

_AHHHH SAPNAP?!_

_WHAT HE'S ACTUALLY THERE_

_THIS IS REAL_

Were spammed in the chat.

"Of course this is real, how else are we gonna have the meet up event next week? Didn't think about that did you, nimrods?" Sapnap spat jokingly.

"Yeah they're a bunch of nimrods, aren't they." George smiled.

"Oh hey chat! Look, I'm wearing GeorgeNotFound merch!" Sapnap said, displaying the hoodie.

"Yes! GeorgeNotFound.shop go buy some merch!!!" George excitedly said.

"Alright I'm gonna go sit back down over there WITH DREAM. OH MY GOSH DREAM IS HERE?! Wow George can you believe we can see Dream's face and they can't?" Sapnap laughed as he walked back to the couch.

"Stop it Sapnap you're literally gonna cause them all to have a heart attack or something." George chuckled, focused on the game now.

After many attempts of beating the game, along with some joking around and talking, it was about the time to end stream.

"Alright guys that was fun, thank you all for watching and we'll see you soon! Bye! Dream, Sapnap say bye!" George waved at the camera.

"Bye!" Sapnap said.

"Byyyyye!" Dream called out.

"And it's over." George says, clicking the end stream button and stretching his arms out.

"Ughhh finally!" Sapnap yawned, standing up from the couch.

"What now?" George asked no one in particular.

"Well, I was thinking. Maybe we should make use of my pool?" Dream requested with a grin.

"Oh that sounds good! Just chill in the hot tub, I'm down." George agreed. 

"What about you Sap?" Dream nudged Sapnap gently.

"Uh I don't really feel like swimming, but I'll stick my feet in." Sapnap shrugged his shoulders.

"Sounds good! I'm gonna put on some swim trunks." Dream said walking towards his room.

"Alright I'll get changed too." George added.

"Okay I'll meet you guys out there." Sapnap quietly said.

***

Sapnap opened the back door to see the pool all lit up and the hot tub bubbling. He looked back and saw Patches behind him.

"You wanna come outside with me?" Sapnap asked in a high pitched voice.

Patches turned around and walked away from him. 

"Alright I guess I'm on my own." Sapnap mumbled to himself, walking through the door and closing it behind him.

He carefully made his way down to the edge of the pool, rolled his pants up then sat on the ledge, and lowered his legs in the water. He leaned back, fully supported by his hands on the ground slightly behind him. Sapnap then heard a noise from behind him and turned around to see Patches coming through the cat door on the backdoor. 

"So you changed your mind huh?" He asked, petting Patches once she came closer to him.

He closed his eyes and tried to relax before George and Dream came outside. He hasn't been swimming in a long time. It wasn't because he couldn't swim, he actually loved swimming in the summer with his friends, before his dad-

_SPLASH_

Sapnap's eyes shot open to see Patches in the pool struggling to swim.

"Oh shit." Sapnap whispered to himself.

Sapnap stood there, frozen. He had to go in the water. Fuck fuck fuck fuck 

He had to go otherwise Patches would drown.

"Fuck." Sapnap mumbled and lowered himself into the water, rushing over to Patches. 

The cold water surrounded his body, he winced.

_"You think it's funny to clog the bath tub?" Sapnap looked up to his dad towering over him._

_He was back to that day. What was it? 5 years ago? Before his parents divorced? It was hard to remember, all the memories faded together._

Stop. Focus. Get Patches.

_His dad's hands gripped Sapnap's hair as he dunked his head in the bath tub filled with water. The tub was clogged, Sapnap didn't do it. He tried tell them he didn't do it._

He had Patches in his arms now.

_"I' didn't do it, I swear I didn't do it." Sapnap gasped out once his head was lifted out of the water._

Sapnap made it back to the ledge and placed Patches on the dry ground. 

_"It's always you. Quit denying it, son." his mom remarked behind his dad. She leaned on the door frame with her arms crossed._

He stood in the pool watching Patches carefully, she seemed alright, just shook up.

 _His head was dunked back into the water as he struggled to break free from his dad._

_His vision was getting darker,_

_he stopped fighting back,_

_he felt weaker and weaker._

He watched Patches make her way through the cat door back into the house. 

_Why were all these memories coming back? Why now?_

He was still in the pool, frozen in place, stuck in the past. He closed his eyes and submerged himself in the water.

Sapnap sank in the pool, he slowly opened his eyes and stared at the sky, under the water. Time seemed to have slowed down as he looked at the moon, it looked just like it did the other night. All the stars seemed to be looking down at him, laughing at him, just like everyone does.

He should just stay here, the water felt comforting and warm. 

Sapnap closed his eyes. 

He finally felt at peace.

***

"Why are you wearing gym shorts?" Dream laughed.

"Because I didn't know you had a pool, otherwise I would've brought swim trousers."

"What is it with you and trousers?" 

Dream swung a towel over his shoulder and handed one to George as they made their way to the back door. 

"Patches? Why are you soaking wet?! She must've tried to swim again, silly cat." Dream said to himself, as he crouched down wrapping Patches in his towel.

George looked down at him and Patches on the ground, confused what was going on. Then he looked outside, Sapnap.

"Dream!" was all George could manage to say when he sprinted to the backyard. 

Sapnap was at the bottom of the pool.

George didn't hesitate to dive in to get Sapnap.

His eyes burned because of the chlorine but he was focused on swimming to Sapnap. His body looked motionless, as if- No he couldn't be... When George was close enough he grabbed one of Sapnap's arms and pulled him up. 

George gasped for air once his head was above the water and pulled Sapnap with him. Once they made it out the pool, George panted and looked over at Sapnap.

His eyes skimmed over Sapnap. He was so still, too still. George felt too scared to even touch him, but he quickly moved closer to him. Was he breathing? Did he have to do CPR?

But before he could even comprehend anything Sapnap's eyes fluttered open.

"SAPNAP WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!" George shouted at Sapnap.

"Patches was in the water and-"

"She was already out of the water when we were on out way here, meaning you could've just gotten out of the pool. Why? Did you want to- You couldn't have wanted to-" George couldn't even finish his sentence, he was at a loss for words.

"George, you wouldn't understand." Sapnap said quietly, slowly sitting up to face George.

George held Sapnap's shoulders, desperately, "Help me understand then, please! I can't see you like this, I can't keep pretending last night didn't happen." 

Sapnap pushed George's hands away from him almost immediately, "D- don't touch me... I-" Sapnap's voice cracked.

"I can't do this." Sapnap stood up and headed towards the door only to be met with Dream blocking the door.

"We need to talk, Sap. You need to talk to us." Dream pleaded, walking closer to him.

"We tried to follow your lead with this but you're obviously not okay. We want to help you."

"I'm fine! I'm okay! I don't need you guys' help. I don't need any of this. Just leave me alone... please." Sapnap asked desperately.

He attempted to move past Dream but was stopped by a hand gently tugging his hoodie sleeve. Sapnap turned around to see it was Dream.

"No, we aren't going back inside until you tell us what's been going on with you." Dream harshly said, but was visibly concerned.

George appeared next to Dream now, "We're right here, Sap. We're here with you. Please just talk to us." 

Sapnap shakily exhaled. 

As much as he didn't want to, he had to tell them. 

Sapnap slowly lifted his hoodie and shirt off of him revealing his torso.

His body trembled as he looked down at what he was showing them.

How his left shoulder was visibly disfigured compared to his right,

The burn marks from his dad's cigarettes all over his arms,

The wound marks from the beer bottles thrown at him,

The bruises from all the beatings,

The scars from his past on display for his two best friends.

This was the first time he ever showed anyone who he truly was.

How damaged and weak he was. 

"I- I'm not okay." Sapnap whispered, tears flowed down his face as he looked back up at Dream and George.

**To Be Continued...**

**A/N:**

**Hello! Happy New Year! Sorry for taking forever to update, I've been rewriting this part over and over soooo many times because I didn't feel as satisfied with what I was writing and if I'm being completely honest some of this hits a little close to home for me which made it even harder at some points. (i'm fine lol it's just sometimes overwhelming writing this type of angst ig) Buuuuuut anywayssss I hope you guys enjoyed it though and that you look forward to more! (I hope to have the next and final part out soooooon???)**

**Btw I have Twitter! It's gsadnap if you wanna bully me to update more haha**

**Also like I said in previous parts: if you relate to Sapnap's abuse in the story in any way** **please reach out for help from** **people you trust / feel comfortable with! You are never alone!!! Here is some resources there is more in the previous chapter.**

**https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/** **  
**

**https://www.thehotline.org/**

**Love you all, thank you for all the support! I truly appreciate all of it! <3**

**-G**


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